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 Post subject: Am I an Alcoholic?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 7:56 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2011 6:29 pm
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I found this somewhere on the Internet written by someone named Jo. I do not know if Jo is male or female and it does not matter. Jo said I could use it so here it is:

Hello All. Jo, alcoholic. When I came to AA my daily day went like this. I got up in the morning sick with fear. You know that fear you get when you are really afraid of something that is real. I would go to the bathroom thinking, "I can't make it through this day." Then I would search my drawers for the pint of vodka I hid the day before. With shaking hands I tip the bottle up and take 2 really big swigs. I had to be careful cause I couldn't drink tooooo much tooooo early in the a.m. I looked in the mirror and thought, "How can I possibly get ready for work?" It would take me at least an hour and two more swigs from the vodka bottle to get dressed and get the face ready. Two more swigs and I could finally look out the front door and start the long walk to the car. This process took an amazing amount of will power to accomplish. The fear was still sitting in the pit of my stomach, a few more swigs and I could make the office. I was feeling pretty normal by the time I talked to my boss. Chit, chat. I had to make sure he didn't know what I did yesterday. Then I was free for the day. I was suppose to call on stores the rest of the day. As I got in the car, my hand was already reaching under the front seat for the vodka bottle. Then I would start driving. I would either drive to the local morning bar to meet with another salesman who drank like me or I would drive home. If I went home I would take out my reports and start writing what I used to call, "Jo's famous fiction." Of course, I now had a quart of vodka to help me with the rest of the afternoon. Getting drunk wasn't an option anymore. The best I could hope for was to pass out for a few hours. Then I would be up to drink until I could once again pass out for a few hours. This continued all afternoon and throughout the night until once again I was looking in the bathroom mirror thinking, "I can't make it through this day!" I couldn't get drunk and I couldn't get sober. And this went on and on and on until I just couldn't do it one more day. I was an alcoholic of the hopeless variety. I had no hope that my life would get any better and I had a feeling of impending doom resting in the background of my mind. FEAR, fear, fear!!!
Reading the BB and looking at my drinking made clear 3 pertient idea's. That I was an alcoholic, that no human power could relieve my alcoholism, and that God could and would if he were sought. I left the big questions to the SMART alcoholics. I gave up fighting. I got sober and have stayed sober following in the steps of the sober alcoholics that went before me. Jo


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PostPosted: Wed May 25, 2011 7:01 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2010 4:29 pm
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Hiya Cutie;

I was just droppin' by and thought you could use a little support.
Jo here. Alcoholic from Texas. Any alcoholic can feel free to copy my words, to speak my words, and to use them as their own. I claim no great intelligence. All of my sober thoughts and ideas were passed onto me by other sober alcoholics in AA. I have never met a woman in AA, who drank like I did. The big book talks about how women are usually gone within 2-3 years. I couldn't relate to women when I came to AA. Women who drank some wine or a 6-pk. Women who got a DWI. Women who got arrested for public drunk. Car accidents. Loss of family. I heard all of their stories and thought to myself, "I did all of these things years ago! None of these things made me want to get sober." I realized later in sobriety that a lot of these women were headed for that hopeless state of mind and body. Most of us wind up in mental institutions, locked up in our homes drinking by ourselves, or we end up drinking ourselves to death. Society protects women. In my neighborhood, I know of 3 women who live by themselves in quiet desperation. Drinking themselves to death. They are beyond human aid. They have no desire or interest in getting sober. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It progresses weather we are sober or not.
When I think about women and alcoholism, the most public story I know was of George McGovern's daughter. If you remember, McGovern ran for president of the United States. A man of wealth and influence. A man who helped his daughter kill herself with alcohol. You can Goggle her story and read it for yourself. She was drunk one night and layed down (passed out) in a snow bank and froze to death. She might have gotten an honest desire to get sober if her father had let her go. It amazed me at the time of her death, that McGovern took no responsiblity for her death. He was oblivious to the role he played. His daughter was of the hopeless variety and never had a chance to meet a sober woman in AA who understood her and could have helped her. Instead she was in and out of the best drying out facilities that money could buy. Of course the final responsibility for our drinking is our own. Jo


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